Toast: Tableware range

Table programme

Tips: Read about the

order of speakers Showtime:
The times given are approximate only.

16.35 – 16.40:

Starter

Starter served at the table –
Once everyone is standing in front of their chairs. The bride takes her seat, after which the host welcomes everyone to the table.
– Wine is served (the sommelier will inform you when everyone has been served).
– Welcome speech by the host, concluding with a toast. Speech duration: xx mins. This speech is given by the host (the person hosting the event) or by the bride’s father or mother, and should include information about who is hosting the evening and an introduction to you as the evening’s toastmaster, at which point the host will invite you to step forward (alternatively, you take over once the applause for the host’s speech has died down).
– You take the floor and explain your role; anyone who has not yet registered a speech is encouraged to do so. You also provide information on practical matters such as cameras (if any are placed on the tables), smoking (nicotine gum) and other matters relating to the evening – for example, that there will be a short break between dessert and coffee to stretch one’s legs – and introduce the evening’s sing-along
leader. The host takes over again and continues with the speech itself
. The officiant (priest) gives a speech. Speech duration: xx minutes.

Usually, this person needs no introduction; the room naturally falls silent when they stand up. The speech concludes with a blessing.

The starter is eaten whilst the speech is being delivered, provided it is not served hot. (Check whether extra wine is to be served and whether arrangements have been made for this.)
– The groom’s father/mother is introduced by the toastmaster (you). This concludes with four cheers or a toast. Speech duration: xx minutes
. – Telegrams, if required.
– The starter is served whilst a song is selected from the songbook. Singing time: xx mins. (The sing-along leader and you have agreed on the order of the various songs, so that the staff can plan and adapt to what is to come).

17.35 – 17.45:

Main course

– Wine is served whilst the song is playing, followed by a telegram if required.
– The kitchen will notify you a certain number of minutes before the main course is brought out.
– Whilst waiting for the main course, you can include a skit, a song or a telegram, but this must be timed in coordination with the serving staff. It is at this moment that you become a hero or a loser in the eyes of the staff. Absolutely no speeches whilst the majority of guests are eating; this is often overlooked, resulting in everyone’s food getting a film on top and having to eat cold food.
– The groom’s / bride’s father (or mother) gives a speech, introduced first by you (once everyone has finished eating or when the atmosphere has calmed down). Concludes with a toast. Speaking time: xx mins.
– The marshal and best man are introduced by you and give a speech. Toast. Speech duration: xx mins.
– The bridesmaid is introduced by you and gives a speech (traditionally, the bridesmaid and the groomsman give speeches to each other). Concludes with a toast. Speech duration: xx mins
. – Announcements as required.
– The main course is served whilst a song is played. Song duration: xx mins.

19.00:

Dessert

– The dessert wine is served (the cellar master will inform you when everyone has been served).
– The groom’s speaker is introduced by you. A toast / four-fold. Speaking time: xx mins.
– The dessert is served whilst a song is played. Song duration: xx mins.

If ice cream is served, you must be extremely vigilant to ensure the speaker keeps to the time; otherwise, you will have to step in and interrupt him or her. Alternatively, you could include a song instead; the speech concludes with a toast.
—Spontaneous salute or presentation. Speaking time: xx mins.
—Spontaneous telegram or presentation. Speaking time: xx mins.
—You introduce the bride’s speaker. Toast / fourfold. Speaking time xx mins.
– The party gets into full swing; see party games
. The toastmaster proposes a toast to ‘absent friends’ and introduces the evening’s final main speaker, who is also the one to give thanks for the meal. Usually, it is the groom’s father – i.e. the one who isn’t paying – who gives thanks on his own behalf and on behalf of everyone else for the meal. Alternatively, an older relative or you can give this speech. Concludes with a toast.
Speaking time: xx mins

20.00:

The toastmaster announces that it is time for a short break and that coffee will be served in about 10–15 minutes on level 2 or in the same venue, whilst the staff clear away (allow 20–25 minutes in reality). Even if the dinner, including dessert and coffee, is to be eaten in one go, it is still advisable to take a break at this point. Most guests will by now have drunk around 30 cl of wine and 15–20 cl of water, as well as around 10 cl of welcome drink; the bride and groom will have had a further 10 cl each in the car.

20.25:

The wedding cake

Ensure that any photographers have a clear view; arrange the guests in a large U-shape with the bride and groom in the centre. Once the bride and groom have taken a bite together, the best man or bridesmaid serves the parents, after which the waiting staff take over or everyone helps themselves. Once everyone is seated and the digestif has been served (the cellar master will let you know when everyone has been served; if you’ve done your job properly and everything has gone smoothly, you’ll now have his full attention and admiration), whatever you do, don’t skimp on the digestif. Serve 2 cl if you’re running short, and use smaller wine glasses during the meal (few guests will ask for more than two refills, of either white or red). A wedding without a free after-dinner drink can come across as stingy and may lead to unnecessary comments. Instead, raise the prices slightly at the bar to compensate, and pretend it’s raining.
After that, it’s the right time for skits, satirical songs and the speeches that weren’t announced.

21.00:

When the bride and groom feel ready, make sure an intro of around 3 minutes is played (preferably the theme from the film 2001), before the wedding waltz begins. You position all the guests around the dance floor and ensure the photographers have a clear view. You then make sure the bride and groom enter as the waltz begins. Once the bride and groom, their parents-in-law and respective parents have danced with their son-in-law/daughter-in-law, and the guests have danced with those as custom dictates (around 20 minutes), the music is paused and you announce that it is time to open the presents. A good rule of thumb is to start with the presents from the closest and oldest relatives first, and/or the oldest guest. If there are a lot of presents (more than 20), you can set aside those from guests who are not present and those from groups of friends. Many couples don’t want a present-opening session, which can be disastrous. At the very least, you should persuade them to open the presents from the grandparents and the oldest guests (I’ve been in a situation where an 80-year-old grandfather sat there, was incredibly disappointed that his present hadn’t been opened, and left the party straight away).
You hand the presents over to the bride and groom in turn and read out the respective greeting cards, noting on the card what the parcel contained. It’s much more fun when the bride and groom send a thank-you card to Grandad, saying, ‘Thank you ever so much for the beautifully handcrafted candelabrum; it will look lovely on the dining table’.
Once the presents have been opened, you lead a four-fold cheer for the bride and groom and then announce that “The bar is open”. People tend to talk about an ‘open bar’, but the most successful weddings have always been those without one. ‘Open bar’ seems to be perceived as an invitation to get drunk, and this holds true regardless of whether it’s a so-called ‘posh wedding with posh guests’ or not

. The staff clear away the rubbish, the gifts are placed on a table and a designated person ensures they are delivered to the correct address or storage area.
The music starts and you invite the sing-along leader or the bridesmaid to dance, if you haven’t danced with her before.

Now the toastmaster should be treated to a proper whisky

Midnight:

The bride and groom leave the party
. If the bride and groom are leaving the party in a limousine or taxi, you must, of course, have made sure that shoes and cans are tied to the car’s undercarriage with string. Arrange all the unmarried girls and women in a half-moon shape and make sure the bride has enough space to throw the bouquet over her shoulder before they leave (don’t forget the photographers here). Make sure you collect the bouquet from the person who caught it and hand it over to, for example, the bride’s mother.

You’re now done and have probably done an outstanding job, the likes of which no other toastmaster has ever done before. The downside of this situation is that you’ll end up being the toastmaster at countless weddings in the future, both for a fee and for free. Personally, I’ve now retired as a toastmaster and instead train those who are more suited to the role; I focus instead on the ‘thank you for the meal’ speech, which is increasingly being delivered by someone other than the person tradition dictates. Toastmaster Guide, homepage

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