The Church of Sweden

A blessed wedding

For many people, a church wedding is the ultimate symbol of love and fidelity. But what do you actually need to consider before contacting your parish? In this guide, we go through everything to do with a church wedding in the Church of Sweden – from the examination of impediments to marriage to the personal pre-wedding consultation.

A civil ceremony or church wedding has the same legal validity, but a church wedding consists of a service rich in symbolism. In the presence of God and all the witnesses, you promise each other to cherish your love and stand by one another for the rest of your lives. Together, we pray to God to bless your marriage and be with you in both joy and sorrow.

Same-sex and opposite-sex couples have the same right to marry. Everyone is welcome to celebrate their wedding in the Church of Sweden, but as a general rule, at least one of you must be, or become, a member of the Church of Sweden. It is not a problem if the other person belongs to a different church or religion. Contact your parish to book a wedding ceremony.

PHOTO//WEDDINGSBYMALIN

You can choose your church

You may have been thinking about which church, or where, you would like to get married. Contact the parish where you wish to get married. The simplest option is to choose a church in the parish where you live, and to have the priest on duty marry you. However, it is also possible to get married at a different venue, and you may request that a specific priest officiate at your wedding.

If you’d like to get married somewhere other than a church – for example, by the sea – you can discuss this with the priest. Would you like to get married abroad? It’s perfectly possible to get married or receive a church blessing abroad. In that case, please contact the Church of Sweden’s overseas parishes or read more about getting married abroad. In the Church of Sweden’s overseas parishes, there is usually a fee for the wedding ceremony.

Certificate of no impediment during the examination of impediments to marriage 

Don’t forget that the examination of impediments to marriage from the Swedish Tax Agency is only valid for four months. Make sure it is up to date when the time comes for your church wedding so that there are no legal impediments. The purpose of the certificate is to check that there are no impediments to your marriage, for example, if either of you is under 18.

Before the wedding 

In the run-up to the wedding, you’ll have a pre-wedding meeting with the vicar. During this meeting, you will plan the wedding: which texts are to be read, what the vows should say, and who will do what and when? For the priest, the meeting is also a way of getting to know you, and provides a good basis for their wedding sermon to you. 

You can have this meeting in the church or at your home. If you choose to have it at home, you can then have a meeting at the church. This will allow you to go through the ceremony on site so that you feel comfortable during the wedding. 

Interview with the Church of Sweden

How does a priest go about planning for a wedding?

Once the minister has been informed that a couple wish to be married, they contact the couple and arrange a time for a pre-wedding meeting and a run-through of the various parts of the ceremony in the church, so that they can get to know one another a little and understand what happens during a wedding.

The priest then liaises with the church musicians and the verger, and passes on the couple’s preferences regarding hymns, entrance and exit music, and any other musical elements or, for example, poetry readings. There are plenty of opportunities to personalise the ceremony. By choosing music and texts that mean something to you, your church wedding will be a memory to last a lifetime.

Various elements of the wedding service are selected based on what the couple and the minister have discussed, and a wedding address is prepared, which usually includes some glimpses into the couple’s shared story, as well as thoughts and words of encouragement from a Christian perspective.  

How far in advance should you book a church wedding?

It really depends on the couple themselves and how much time they want to allow for planning beforehand. Sometimes the church offers walk-in weddings where you can simply turn up with a certificate of the Swedish Tax Agency's examination of impediments to marriage and get married on the same day, whilst there are other weddings where you might want to prepare more thoroughly – for example, with specific music requests (for which the church musician may need a little more time to find the sheet music and practise). 

The main thing is that you bring an approved examination of impediments to marriage with you to the pre-wedding meeting with the vicar, and that it remains valid right up until the wedding day. It’s probably most common for couples to book a few months before the wedding is due to take place, so that everything can be prepared calmly and without stress. If you wish to get married in a popular church during busy wedding seasons (e.g. during the summer), you may need to book the church well in advance if you want a specific date. 

What happens during a pre-wedding consultation ahead of a church wedding?

The vicar will contact the couple for a meeting, partly to discuss the wedding service and their preferences regarding hymns, Bible readings and the various vows you can choose from, and partly to give you the opportunity to talk about your relationship – perhaps how you met, what it is you’ve fallen for in each other, and what you consider important in your relationship.

It’s usually a lovely opportunity to talk about your relationship and your expectations for the wedding day, to ask questions and to feel more at ease about what will happen during the wedding service itself. 

If you have already got married in a civil ceremony – can you then have a church wedding? 

If you’ve had a civil marriage, it’s possible to have a blessing of your marriage in church, which is similar to a wedding service, but without the legal elements (such as the minister declaring that you have entered into marriage with one another) that you have already experienced in the civil ceremony. 

What is one thing couples often forget in the run-up to the big day that you’d like to take the opportunity to remind them of?

I don’t think couples forget to have fun and enjoy themselves on their wedding day, but it’s still worth reminding them of this. It can feel a bit nerve-wracking at times, and you might worry about saying the ‘wrong’ thing or that everything won’t be ‘perfect’.

Try to remember, then, that the wedding service isn’t a theatre performance with just props and rehearsed lines, but a real, living moment where you get to celebrate everything that makes up your life together. Come as you are – whether you’re nervous or completely calm, with your hairstyles, flowers and clothes absolutely perfect or not.

The lasting memory of the day – one from which you can draw strength even in the future – rarely hinges on whether everything was perfect or not, but rather on the wonderful feeling of having celebrated your love together.   

Whichever church you choose, a church wedding in the Church of Sweden provides a beautiful foundation for your future life together.

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