Wedding Toastmaster: The Complete Guide to the Role

Having the honour of being the wedding toastmaster is a fantastic role that requires both planning and tact. It is a great honour to be asked, but it also comes with significant responsibility. As the toastmaster, you’re the one calling the shots, ensuring the schedule is kept to and providing a common thread throughout the wedding celebrations. In this guide, we’ll go through everything you need to know to succeed – from your first meeting with the bride and groom to liaising with the venue.

What does a toastmaster do?

A toastmaster at a wedding (or toastmistress) is the coordinator of the celebration. The main task is to introduce speakers, keep the schedule on track and inform guests of practical details. The aim is for the bride and groom to be able to relax completely and trust that the celebration will run smoothly as planned.

Working with the restaurant and kitchen

One of the most important aspects that is often overlooked is communication with the staff. As the toastmaster, you are the link between the venue’s kitchen and the bridal toast.

Serving breaks: Schedule speeches between courses, never when the waiting staff are at their busiest.

Meeting with the head waiter: Go over the timetable as soon as you arrive at the restaurant. When is the main course due to be served?

Warning signs: If a speech is running over time, make sure you give the kitchen a signal. Nobody wants a cold main course just because a speech went on for 15 minutes too long.

Have you also been entrusted with helping to plan the drinks? To calculate the right quantities for the bridal toast and the dinner, you can use Systembolaget’s drinks planner for parties, which is an excellent tool for getting the quantities right

Planning and Timetable

Start planning well in advance. Collect confirmations for speeches and ask for an approximate time for each one. Then draw up a running order, including breaks for stretching your legs and toilet visits. Remember that ‘less is more’ – it’s better to have a relaxed schedule than a rushed one.

Example of a dinner running order

One of the most important tools for a wedding toastmaster is a clear running order. Here’s an example of what a well-planned dinner might look like when you’re acting as the wedding toastmaster. Remember that this is a template – always check the times with the head waiter to ensure your planning is in sync with the kitchen!

16.30 – Bridal toast & mingling Guests arrive at the venue. The toastmaster ensures everyone has a glass in their hand and welcomes them with practical information (toilets, mobile phone policy, etc.).

17.00 – Dinner begins The toastmaster sounds the trumpet or calls for attention to show the guests to their seats.

17.15 – The starter is served Once everyone is seated, the host (often the bride’s father) welcomes everyone. The toastmaster introduces himself, explains his role and how to sign up to give a speech.

18.00 – The main course is served Important: No speeches or skits whilst the main course is being eaten! The toastmaster coordinates with the kitchen to ensure the food is served hot and that speeches are scheduled during the breaks between courses.

19.30 – Dessert & Coffee By now, the atmosphere is usually at its peak. This is the perfect time for lighter-hearted speeches, reading out telegrams or a short skit.

8.30 pm – Cutting the cake & the first dance begins The toastmaster gathers the guests around the bride and groom for the cake-cutting and then ensures the dance floor is cleared for the first dance.

21.30 – Opening of presents & Bar After the waltz, the toastmaster says his goodbyes and hands over the reins to the DJ or band. The bar opens and the party really gets going!

8 tips for wedding toastmasters

As a toastmaster, it’s not about giving the longest speech, but about letting others shine. Here are your key points:

1. Prepare thoroughly. Write down your introductions for each speaker in advance. Practise pronouncing names and make sure you know the order of speakers.
2. Grab everyone’s attention. As the toastmaster, you’ll often start by welcoming everyone to the table. Do this with a strong opening that sets the tone for the evening.
3. Be personal but professional. Use short anecdotes when introducing the speakers, but remember that the bride and groom are the centre of attention.
4. Keep it short and to the point. Your own contributions should act as bridges between the speeches. Keep your own presentations brief so as not to run over time.
5. Be heartfelt. Show your appreciation for the bride and groom, but save your deepest feelings for the moment when you yourself propose a toast to them.
6. Joke in moderation. Humour is a brilliant ice-breaker, but make sure the jokes are tasteful and suitable for all ages in the audience. [Read more about wedding etiquette here].
7. Work closely with the hosts and staff. Be fully present in the room. If you notice the energy flagging, be ready to tweak the schedule slightly or insert a short break.
8. Be present. Maintain eye contact with the guests when you speak. Your role is to guide them through the evening so that they always know what’s happening next.

Order of speeches and etiquette – who speaks when?

One of the most common questions a toastmaster receives concerns the order of speeches. According to traditional wedding etiquette, there is a specific structure to follow, although many modern bridal couples choose to be more flexible. As a general rule, the following order applies:

1. Welcome speech: This is usually given by the bride’s father or the host couple (the parents).
2. The bride’s father: The first major speech.
3. The groom’s father: Often responds to the welcome speech.
4. Bridesmaids and groomsmen: This is usually when the atmosphere becomes a little more light-hearted.
5. Siblings and friends: Personal speeches featuring anecdotes.
6. Closing speech: Delivered at the end of the dinner by the groom or the bride and groom together.

As the wedding toastmaster, it’s your job to ensure that no speaker feels stressed, but also to politely interrupt if anyone goes significantly over their time limit. A good tip is to agree on a discreet signal with the speaker in advance.

Contingency plan – if something goes wrong

No wedding reception is completely flawless, and this is where you, as the wedding toastmaster, really shine. Be prepared for the unexpected:

• Technical glitches: Check the microphones and sound system one last time before the guests take their seats. It’s a good idea to have a backup plan (or a strong voice!).
• Time constraints: If the food is delayed, have a short ‘icebreaker’ or a little story ready to keep spirits high at the tables.
• Speakers who get cold feet: If a speaker gets too nervous and wants to pull out, be supportive. Perhaps you could read out a short message from them instead?